I was wrapped up today in my bright room with lots of light doing school work and other tedious things.
I have a lot of time to myself to think and think. Sometimes I think too much. But I have noticed for awhile that I have lost some spunk of life. A little spark that used to flicker inside of me. One that was more full of ambition and desire. I have lost my spunk. I am not sure what it is, maybe doing too many things at once or the trauma over what we have been through this past year. Sometimes your problems catch up to you and has an affect on you that isn't visible. It's internal, hidden away.
I used to be more ambitious when it came to what I wanted in life. There were certain goals I wanted to achieve, parts of life I was really reaching for, a success to be mine. But I can't find it anymore. I lost my direction and sense of self somewhat. My passion has been lost.
So since I have so much time to myself to think and this finally dawned on me today, a revelation of sort; I can think now about where I left off, and what direction I need to spearhead myself again. I need my initiative and spunk.
Trying to be a successful entrepreneur was always important to me. I worked really hard to help establish some foundation to have a time-line of things I really wanted to accomplish. Women should have this, a fighting spirit to go after what they want. Nothing happens if you just sit on your hands, and that is what I really have been doing. Sitting on my hands, holding back and not going forward.
If you have that spark inside you, an idea you want to run with, I encourage you to find your connections, your links to put you where you want to be. In my life I am a big believer of prayer and watching God unfold your happenings before you; I have seen it happen, I know that it is real. But you need to have some initiative, a desire, and yes sometimes doors close on you, but wonderful other openings of doors, windows, whatever happen too. Listen to those moments. In life you may have one notion of where you want to be, but God may clearly have another place a better position for you. God also doesn't like slackers. He loves gumption and perseverance.
I do not know what my next steps are, but I am waiting patiently for my soul to heal and find the right path to go on. I want to feel excitement and possibilities! I want to see results and rewards. It is okay to want those things. There are a lot inspiring women out there who are great role models, who I guarantee you didn't sit on their hands and let life pass them by. I truly admire their tenacity and their spunk!
Copyright 2009 Teresa Sheeley and/for Teresa Sheeley Designs. Please do not use my artwork or photos without my written permission. Thank you!
